The Opaque Rule

Several times over the last few years, I have been told that the Golden Rule is outdated and that it fails to accurately address the complicated needs of modern people.

I have been told, primarily by a series of speech teachers that the Golden Rule is insufficient because it tells people to “do to others as you would have them do to you. They claim that this is poor advice due to the wide range of desires and wants that people have. For example, if a man wants a new fishing pole he might follow the Rule and get a fishing pole for his mother-in-law. This would be a totally inappropriate gift.

They say that we need to update the Rule to a new more progressive model; the Opaque Rule. The Opaque Rule asserts that people should do to others as they would do to themselves. Supposedly, this enlightened strategy will allow individuals to correctly identify the needs of those around them and respond fittingly.

I think this approach is a load of garbage. The Opaque Rule is fundamentally flawed in a way that the Golden Rule is not. If a person was suicidal and really desired death, according to the Opaque rule, the correct response would be to kill the person. The same idea applies in cases of drug addiction, anti-social behavior, unhealthy eating habits and many similar scenarios. When you examine the Opaque Rule with a critical eye it quickly becomes apparent that it is defective.

On the other hand, a closer inspection of the Golden Rule reveals that it is quite solid. At least it is if you are not deliberately taking it out of context in an attempt to discredit Christian teaching. The original intent of the Golden Rule, is not to blindly give others what you want. Instead, it is to consider their situation and react in a way that would fit your desires if you were in their place. To revisit our previous example, if you were to consider the needs of your mother-in-law , you would have realized that in her place you would not want a sports item useful only for a pastime which you do not enjoy. Alternatively, you would see that in her place you might want a box of chocolates, or some garden tools.

It should be apparent to the unbiased scholar that the outdated, inappropriate ideal is not the Golden Rule but rather the Opaque.

A True Confession

I am an Emo Zombie. I know its shocking. It’s almost impossible to believe that I like a music style known as “Emotional Rock.”

I am not an emotional person. My friends are not emotional people. The words commonly used to describe me are adjectives like, cynical, pessimistic, sarcastic, elitist and scary. While I think that most people exaggerate a fair bit there is a kernel of truth in their descriptions. No one ever thinks I’m a touchy feely, girly man.

Anyhow, despite my iceberg like emotional state, I have fallen for the genre of music that is the avatar of whiny, obnoxious little guys whose serial relationships have finally caught up to them. The kind of people I have to fight not to despise.

I have no idea why I like Dashboard Confessional, Jimmy Eat World and All American Rejects but I do.

So there it is I confess, I am an Emo Zombie.

The Assault of the Flying Creature

I am a highly trained Dictatorial Assistant and despite the fact that I am currently unemployed in my primary occupation, I have learned some hardcore, 1337, commando, defense skills. I never expected to need them for defending my home against flying creatures of doom.

I was lying in my chambers attempting to gain a few precious hours of rest before beginning another day of top secret and amazingly important duties when a large object swept through the door, turned quickly and departed as it had come.

I instantly snapped into Anti-Ninja Mode™ and flung myself off my bed. Using my superior knowledge of tactics, I set out to do some reconnaissance. I was able to observe the intruder again and determined that it was a bird that had made its way in through an open window.

Now that I had ascertained the identity of my enemy I launched into Asssault Mode™ to drive the trespasser from my home regardless of danger or cost. I picked up my tools, said a quick prayer and readied myself to defend my family from the horrors that would undoubtedly be unleashed upon them by this small woodland creature.

Utilizing strategic light management I was able to lure the bird into the water closet and close the door. Despite the danger to myself I knew that I had to get my adversary into an enclosed space so that it couldn’t use his superior speed and agility to kite me to death. In the confined area of the bathroom I was able to catch a better look at the intruder and found that my initial assessment had been in error and that I was facing a far more terrifying opponent. It was a bat.

Before he could strike I quickly swept him with a notebook into the shower area and pulled the curtain, further restricting his movement. I then ducked around the curtain and struck at him repeatedly with the note book.

I had finally gained the upper hand. He was trapped in a tiny area where is powers of flight could no longer aid him and my greater size could finally come into play. He was doomed. Merciful fellow that I am, I opened a window and allowed him to flee instead of smiting him.

My valiant defense finally completed and with evil driven away once more, I deactivated Assault Mode™ and returned to bed.

Preserve nature, pickle a squirrel today.

Quick n' Dirty IQ

Your IQ Is 140

Your Logical Intelligence is Genius Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Genius

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

I tried to figure out what I did wrong but apparently 140 is as high as the test goes.

Since I was tagged by Jessica of http://jessijoy.blogspot.com/:

I don’t actually have a night stand per se seeing as I am on the top bunk, but I do have a book shelf which serves the same basic function. So here is a list of the contents of said shelf:

4 large rolls of duck tape

The Compiled Inspirational Works of C.S. Lewis

The Politically Incorrect Guide to American History

Gods and Generals

A recruiting pamphlet from the Army

A half consumed bag of Swedish Fish

2 portable CD players

My partially completed Hawkins rifle kit

An imitation 4D Maglite beatstick flashlight

A notebook in which I record cool quotes and ideas

My daily reading Bible

An envelope of graduation cards

A CD alarm clock

A large cane knife (kind of like a machete)

Assorted papers and candy wrappers

I tag EJB, Neemund and Trixy

Super Short Personality Test

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Media Review: The Island

Because the female segment of my parental unit and my sibs were still at the beach last night, Dad and I went to see The Island.

The Island is a fast paced, science fiction, thriller with the feel of Aldus Huxley’s Brave New World.

The movie features an enclosed city where the survivors of some kind of biological weapon or plague live sealed off from the outside world and the dangers of contamination. Every aspect of life is strictly controlled and there is no privacy. However there is an escape. The hope of every inhabitant of the city is winning the lottery and going to The Island, the last uncontaminated piece of land on the planet, a lush tropical paradise.

I really can’t say much more about the movie, without spoiling it but I highly recommend it. My rating is ****1/2 of ***** stars.

Note: The movie does contain an inappropriate scene.

An omen of things to come?

Because I am completely and utterly obcessed with myself and am to lazy to accurately acrticulate my superior insights into any of the topics which I have mastered I am going to write a long boring account of my 18th birthday. If you were hoping to read a witty post that brilliantly defended freedom or demonstrated an amazing example of apologetix you have are reading the wrong blog.

Anyhow, I woke up and was greeted by a large portion of my family, comprised of the female portion of my parental unit, my older little sister, my big little sister, my baby sister and both of my fraternal relations, bearing a tray of strawberry crepes for my birthday breakfast in bed and various gifts.

Although you are not interested I feel compelled to inflict a complete account of the birthday gifts given to me by my immediate family. My sisters got me a new back pack, identical to the one which I had stolen from school in January. They are very clever and realized that getting me a back pack for which I had paid my own money in the past was certainly a good choice. The older of my fraternal relations gave me a jumbo roll of duck tape, a jumbo roll of duct tape, a jumbo roll of the handyman’s secret weapon and last but not least a jumbo roll of redneck chrome. I will be sure to use these powerful tools for good, or at least my good. Finally, my parental unit gave me a pack of Swedish fish and a subscription to Shotgun News. I am very happy to get the fish as they are one of my favorite candies but I am even more pleased with the Shotgun News. As most of you know I am a certifiable Gun Nut and an outspoken member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy this magazine should give me many pleasant afternoons in the coming year pouring over articles and pictures of a few of my favorite things.

After eating breakfast and opening my gifts I had to go to work. That’s right, I went to work on my eighteenth birthday. I was working at the computer shop. I got to clean off Brian’s work bench and sort all kinds of obscure components. At one, my wonderful female portion of my parental unit, who I love so very much came and picked me up and took me to Chang’s for lunch. After eating 2-3 pounds of Mongolian stir fry, I went back to work and continued my labor till four. Then I went home, packed up my books and headed off to statistics class. That’s right, I spent my eighteenth birthday listening to my teacher tell me that S1 is the substitutable for Sigma1 when the sample size is greater than thirty and explaining why that was important in disproving a null hypothesis.

I got out of class at about 9:30, came home and crashed in front of the TV and watched a movie with the members of my family who were still awake.

The moral of this story, if it is a moral at all, is that once you turn eighteen its all down hill from here, while there are definitely still bright spots your life becomes a constant stream of work until your body decides that its had enough and quits running. At that point you get to “retire” which means you have used up all your value and no one wants to pay you anymore. After retirement you get sit around all day until eventually the certain organs that do important things like pump blood, process nutrients, and cognate decide to follow the rest of your body and give up. Then you die. Happy Birthday.

Edit: Reading over my writing I see that it came out far more morbid and downbeat than I intended. Before you get too concerned I thought I would clarify, I am not depressed.

Elitist Eighteen (sounds slightly less chic than Sweet Sixteen)

Tomorrow I turn 18. I will finally be able to vote, buy guns and get my driver's license without loads of obnoxious restrictions and extra rules. Huzzah!

Driving

I took my first drive for my drivers' ed course. I have been practicing with my parents around the neighborhood and parking lots and I was relatively confident with the driving on residential streets that was the scheduled focus of Drive 1.

I was not expecting to be driving on arterials around Renton at 45 mph. I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was. If I had been told I more comprehensively what the drive would entail I would have insisted that I was unready. Fortunately, the only warning I had was, "Take this right. ...okay, now look at the speed limit, 40 miles per hour." After the initial surprise I did fine. After doing it for 10 or 20 minutes, I can say that I am learning to drive much faster than I expected.

A Nice Compliment

I am done working at the fireworks stand and am mostly recovered from the sleep deprivation that resulted from having to keep the stand secure.

Anyhow, as some of you know I am taking Driver's ed and am being tought by a pretty cool teacher who in his own words, "unlike most of your teachers has actually gone places and done things". It turns out that in addition to teaching drivers ed, and advanced motorcycle classes he also teaches American history and constitutional law.

I was chatting with him after class about O'Conner resigning and he asked me what school I went to. I told him I had been homeschooled. His response was a really nice compliment: "Oh, I see, I was wondering why you could actually think."