Pyrotechnical Retailing

Sorry folks, It's now more than a week since I got home from vacation. Since it's old news I've decided to scrap my drafts for all the interesting things that happened. Anyhow, since then I've graduated from High School, hosted a LAN party, watched 2 and 1/2 seasons of Babylon 5, got to shoot my 30-06 Mauser, found out I got straight A's during Spring Quarter and most importantly to my near future got roped into helping sell fireworks to earn money for the Bible Quiz Team and youth group.

Anyhow, for the next week I'll be working the firework stands. It should be somewhat interesting.

Rabenstrange the Money Finder and the Adventure of the Well Stocked Pavement.

The Bible says that the love of money is not a good thing and that men cannot serve both their checkbook and their Creator. I think I have done a relatively good job in my life so far in keeping these priorities properly aligned. I tithe, give to missions and generally do my best to remember that I am a steward of God’s resources and not the outright owner of “my” possessions.

Maybe my experience at Six Flags was a reward for this. Probably not but it feels nice to think of it this way because at Six Flags I had some of the most bizarre monetary good fortune that I have ever had.

To be specific, I kept finding money. After climbing into the log for the “Get Soaked with Green Chlorinated Water After Waiting in the Hot Sun for an Hour” ride, I looked down and lo and behold their was a dollar bill floating in the bottom of the craft. Later on, I was walking between rides and looked down and their was a dollar bill lying in the middle of the pavement and it didn’t even have a string and practical joker attached. The second day at the Park, the Rabenstrange and Family Young Entrepreneurial Club, of which I am the founding member and President of Operations, Hit the concrete beaches of the water park ready to make some dough. We intended to enact a venture that had proven very profitable in the past, collecting abandoned rental tubes and returning them for the deposit. Unfortunately, Six Flags: Great America only gave a $1 deposit instead of the $2 dollar deposit offered at Silverwood, the park which we had previously used. Not only this, they instituted a system in which disposable wrist bands were given to those renting tubes and only people with the wrist bands were allowed to collect a deposit upon returning a tube. Upon discovering this we were a little discouraged as abandoned tubes were plentiful. However, not ones to be daunted by adversity we decided that we would allow capitalism and the free market to be used as our tools in pursuit of Federal Reserve Notes. We began discreetly approaching people who were going to pay the outrageous $8 per tube rental fee per tube and offering our tubes for a mere $3-5 according to our judgment as to the clients willingness to pay. This was quite profitable and in the hour that we were able to do it we made a total profit of exactly $30 dollars. This was rather less than the $64 dollars we made last summer at Silverwood but finding willing customers to sell tubes to was significantly more difficult than merely returning the tubes en masse to the booth. Finally, on the last day at Six Flags I was walking along and happened to glance down and there laying in the pavement just as had happened two days previously their was a bill. This time it was a $5. I was happy.

I'm Back!

I have returned home from my family vacation. Air Travel was okay. Six Flags was great. Finding money everywhere was amazing and hilarious. Lots of cool and semi interesting things happened while I was gone and because super long involved posts are irritating, I will be breaking down the account of my adventures into several separate posts.

For the sake of clarity here is a basic schedule of the trip.

Saturday, I got up and scurried around turning off lights, water, heat and emptying garbage cans. Then at 0800 I got picked up to go to the airport by Neemund’s dad. I was met at the airport by aunt, who helped me get through security and made sure I was at the right place. While the assistance probably wasn’t necessary it was eased my nerves to have someone familiar with airports showing me around, seeing as I haven’t been on a plane since I was 5.

I got to my plane fine, flew into Minneapolis, sat around for 3 hrs., got on a different plane and flew to Chicago arriving at 9ish local time. Dad picked me up from the airport and we went back to our hotel.

Sunday, we went to Six Flags: Great America with Mason’s JBQ team. It was pretty cool. After going to the park we went to a different hotel. The JBQers went home on Monday leaving just our family to do Six Flags. We went to the park, for the last time, on Tuesday.

Wednesday we flew home as a family stopping again in Minneapolis. It also happened to be Mom and Dad’s 20th anniversary.

Anyhow that’s how the trip went.

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Hee-hee

Tomorrow morning I am leaving to meet my family in Chicago.

My middlest brother and his Junior Bible Quiz team made it to national competition which just so happens to be held in Chicago this year. Just like every other year. He will be finishing up his quizzing shortly before I arrive in the Windy City.

On Sunday our family along with the JBQ team will be going to the Chicago Six Flags theme park. On Monday the JBQers leave and it will just be the Fam. We will be staying in Chicago and hanging out at Six Flags for several more days before returning to the Emerald City on the 15^th.

Since I was unable to get Audioblogger working before I left I will not be posting while away.

I’ll post my commentary on the experience when I get back. So long and thanks for all the fish.

90 Reasons to be Indecisive

Reasons to go out with me:

1. I’ll treat you like a lady not an equal.
2. I am mostly cured of my sadistic tendencies.
3. I can fix your computer.
4. I liked Britiny Spears better before the surgeries.
5. I never liked Britiny.
6. I spend money wisely.
7. My accent is undetectable to most people.
8. I don't have an irrational fear of babies or diapers.
9. I've never gotten a class grade lower than a B.
10. I’m not a picky eater.
11. I can swim a mile and I do so on a regular basis.
12. I do all the homework that is necessary to get good grades.
13. I recognize the fact that girls are incomprehensible and will not try to “figure you out.”
14. You can actually read my handwriting.
15. I will wait till we’re married.
16. If you’re worth dating, you’re worth showering with gifts and tokens of my affection.
17. I’ve never been indicted.
18. I try to be logical.
19. I want to have lots of kids, after marriage.
20. Medical evidence proves that I am physically male.
21. I also happen to be psychologically male.
22. I have a mild appreciation for nature and beauty.
23. I can bench 120% of my body weight.
24. If you find my hygiene unacceptable I’ll try to improve.
25. I don’t like to watch TV.
26. I don’t date for entertainment.
27. I’ve been told that I have the potential to be romantic at times.
28. I’ve so far resisted the urge to cheat on my taxes.
29. I’m not overweight.
30. I am not good at talking about feelings.
31. We share the same faith.
32. I promise I won't laugh at your pain, at least not if I can help it.
33. I don’t smoke.
34. I’m not gay.
35. I don’t carry on multiple, concurrent, romantic relationships.
36. I won't trade you in for a newer model.
37. When I date I am actively thinking about future marriage.
38. My morals are based on absolutes given by the Higher Authority.
39. The pliers method worked for removing my warts.
40. If I we can’t make it work I’ll do the right thing and end the relationship.
41. I am easily entertained.
42. I'm always right
43. I will at your face while I talk to you.
44. I can dig deep down and find 45 things wrong with me
45. I'm modest enough to stop at 45

Reasons not to go out with me:

1. I’ll treat you like a lady not an equal.
2. I may not hit back but I’ll get even. Eventually.
3. I’m still a broke college student.
4. My writing skills leave a lot to be desired.
5. I have a tendency to be arrogant.
6. I hate combing my hair, so I shaved it all off.
7. I use video game terminology in every day speech.
8. I don’t appreciate Shakespeare.
9. I probably weigh less than you do. (130 lbs.)
10. I am constantly accused of being insensitive.
11. I will say, “Uh-huh” while I ignore you.
12. There’s probably a reason I’ve never had a girlfriend.
13. I’m an optimist despite realizing the rationality of pessimism.
14. I only speak one language, American.
16. I’m a gun nut.
17. I don't see the point of making my bed.
18. If I had to cook for myself for an extended period I would probably starve.
19. My fashion sense is rather out of tune with that of normal people.
20. I procrastinate.
21. I don't get outside enough.
22. I talk too much.
23. I am a survivalist who thinks it prudent to prepare for coning disasters.
24. I’ll fix it with ducktape.
25. I like to start political arguments.
26. I like to start arguments in general.
27. If you misuse a word I’ll probably point it out.
28. I might be shorter than you.
29. I am a video gamer who thinks that life is spelled L-A-N-P-A-R-T-Y.
30. I think that I am hilarious.
31. I’m a manipulative suck up.
32. I'm not well traveled
33. I don't work well in teams.
34. I'd probably do you more harm then good.
35. I am usually late.
36. I use ( ) marks too much (but not all the time)
37. I have bad posture.
38. I’ll probably forget your birthday, anniversary and other important dates.
39. I can't guarantee that when you get attached to me you won't regret it.
40. I have a short attention span.
41. I am best described as eccentric.
42. I'm always sure that I’m right.
43. If I beat you at anything I’ll probably gloat.
44. Life with me would probably be crazy and confusing.
45. I waste a lot of time filling out stupid lists.

An Insight into the Male Mind

An Insight into the Male Mind.
For the ladies among my readers. (On second, thought the ladies will probably be disgusted/confused by this. Oh well.)

Hopefully this will deter you from considering dating for awhile at least. And yes, all guys are like this, just not when the ladies are around. Anyways a recent IM conversation between Shadow Walker and I, modified slightly for continuity:

[20:24] schattunjager: Poke

[21:45] Rabenstrange: poke

[21:46] schattunjager: *dodge*

[21:46] schattunjager: So, how's college???

[21:46] Rabenstrange: what is up with you

[21:46] schattunjager: Waiting for class to be done

[21:46] schattunjager: oh, urbandictionary.com

[21:47] Rabenstrange: college is getting less sucky as i finish projects

[21:47] schattunjager: at UD, nput Qatari Intellectual

[21:47] schattunjager: Well, of course. That hgood feeling of being done is in effect

[21:48] Rabenstrange: sorry about the slow type speed, im typng with one hand

[21:48] schattunjager: Iudnerstandable

[21:48] schattunjager: stupid screen is blocked again

[21:49] schattunjager: where's your otehr hand, and be glad I have a clean mind...

[21:49] Rabenstrange: my other hand is occupied with my steak

[21:49] schattunjager: hmmm...steak....

[21:50] Rabenstrange: the fam is out of town so i don’t have to be civilized

[21:50] schattunjager: hahaha

[21:50] schattunjager: you mean, your usual lazy self

[21:50] Rabenstrange: thus eating steak with my hand

[21:50] schattunjager: hmmm...steak....

[21:51] Rabenstrange: while sitting in front of my comp in my underwear

[21:51] schattunjager: That's nice.

[21:51] schattunjager: I am too...just with pants on as well

[21:50] schattunjager: anyways, when do you go to 6 flags?

[21:51] Rabenstrange: i fly out on sat

[21:51] schattunjager: I see

[21:53] Rabenstrange: my steak is gone, im goin to go wash my hand so i can type better

[21:53] schattunjager: indeed

[21:54] Rabenstrange: For as much as I joke about sitting in front of the computer in my undies this is probably the first time I've ever actually done it.

[21:54] schattunjager: What? you mean all those times at the LAN you weren't wearing anything under your pants?!?!

[21:55] Rabenstrange: Underwear and pants are options; you just have to choose one.

[21:55] schattunjager: Eeeewwww

[21:55] Rabenstrange: Although wearing undies with your pants reduces chafing.

[21:56] Rabenstrange: I went paintballing today.

[21:56] Rabenstrange: Got some purty welts.

[21:56] schattunjager: wouldn't know, never tried it

[21:57] schattunjager: oohh..

[21:57] schattunjager: what was the kill/death ratio?

[21:57] Rabenstrange: 2 - 1

[21:58] Rabenstrange: Unfortunately, I moved too late the first round. Got in after the action.

[21:58] schattunjager: I'm leaving

[21:58] schattunjager: See you whenever

[21:58] Rabenstrange: Leaving where?

[21:58] schattunjager: school

[21:58] schattunjager: where did you think I was

[21:58] Rabenstrange: So I'll probably see you on the 18th.

[21:58] Rabenstrange: For much LANage.

[21:58] schattunjager: anyways, bye

Commencement of "The Week of Doom"

Yesterday marked the beginning of the my last week of classes for Spring Quarter. Because I will be gone during finals, I am being forced to take all my finals early amongst the myriad of other assignments this week.

Normally taking finals is a pain. You have to show up at inconvenient times and take massively long and involved tests. It's even worse when you have to take them early. Nevertheless I have had to reschedule my finals several times in the past. But never like this. Here is a glimpse of my shedule for this week. This is all school stuff, not counting all the work and family stuff I have going.

Monday - Economics Essay Due, Hiragana Final Due, Briton Simulation Results to Anaylyze, Briton Decisions Due
Tuesday - Meteorology Presentation
Wednesday - Katakana Final Due, Take Accounting Test 4 early, Open Discussion for Economics Module 6, Open Discussion for Economic Module 7
Thursday - Japanese Final, Japanese Homework Due, Meteorology Final, More discussion on Econ Mod's 6&7.
Friday - Japanese Final Day 2, Final Katakana Test, Accounting Final of Death, Destruction and Severe Pain, Still more Mod 6&7.

In addition to all that school stuff, most of which is not minor, I have to, pack for the trip, mow the lawn, go to work, help out with Royal Rangers on Wednesday, and probably a bunch more that I'm too hurried to remember.

Cooties Explained

coo·tie - n. Slang, A body louse.

body louse Function: noun : a louse feeding primarily on the body; especially : a sucking louse (Pediculus humanus humanus) feeding on the body and living in the clothing of humans -- called also cootie

The word cootie is a slang word that when used literally refers to an arachnid parasite that feeds on human blood. However, When I used the word in my previous post I was not using the word in a strictly literal sense.

I was using the definition of the word used for decades by children to describe the qualities that make the other gender so revolting. The Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang defines cooties as "an imaginary microbe or repulsive quality thought to be transmitted by slovenly or obnoxious people," with "obnoxious people," at least in the elementary-school stage, meaning 'anyone of the opposite sex'.

I originally heard the quote that I posted in my previous blog entry from one of my sisters friend who, of course, reversed it to be “Things were better when boys had cooties.”

I immediately connected with the sentiments of the expression. Things were far less complicated when members of the other gender were disgusting, stupid and generally not worth my time. Life was easier when my hormonal urges didn't conflict with my logical, cognition and moral values. Unfortunately, like all guys my age, I have developed a puzzling and irritating fascination with “girls”, knowing that all research is futile as I will never be able to even begin to comprehend the complex infrastructure of that is the female mind.

Additionally, I find it exasperating how so many people of my approximate age seem to completely devoid of logic and reason when approaching interactions with the other gender. They become so obsessed that they lose focus on the important things in life, such as their faith, family, and education. What makes it even worse is their view of romance as a game, useful for frivolous entertainment. They would be better if the objects of their infatuation had cooties and were therefore undesireable.

So anyhow, that's the explanation of cooties and why it was better when girls had them.