Sleep Inertia.

Virginia from Ontario asked me a question. Unfortunately, I was cleaning out my inbox and accidentally deleted her message. For most advice columnists this would present a most difficult and embarrassing situation. However, as part of my Dictatorial Assistance Training I was implanted with a prototype Message Recall system that allows me to remember messages with uncanny skill. This amazing technology has allowed me to recover the highlights of her message from my memory (The amazing part is that it actually worked this time. usually it fails me whenever I have something important that needs to be remembered.).

Her message was approximately as follows: “Hey Rabenstrange, Why are mornings awful? Why do I hate mornings so much?”

First, I would like to applaud Virginia for recognizing that mornings are awful. I am continually forced to operate in this sub-optimal range of time and it is refreshing to see that I am not alone in my quest to enlighten the world to the inherent inferiority of mornings. “Good morning.” is an oxymoron.

Lets answer her first question first. Why are mornings awful?

Morning means that night has ended. Night is the best time for doing stuff. Mostly because all the morning people are asleep.

(This poor fellow isn't me.)

Why do I hate mornings so much? The answer to this second question is slightly more complicated.

There are several possible reasons but I think the most likely is sleep inertia. Sleep inertia is a feeling of lethargy, a word which here means slow and draggy, that occurs in the minutes or hours shortly after waking from a long sleep. This phenomenon is experienced because it takes the human brain awhile to adjust from deep sleep to full consciousness.

According to the Roads and Traffic Authority(RTA), which has studied the effect sleep inertia has on drivers, feelings of grogginess can last anywhere from a few seconds to four hours depending on the length of time a person has been sleeping and the stage of sleep they are in when woken.

Another possible reason for your hatred is the knowledge that you have a whole day of work ahead of you. I personally find this sensation rather depressing. I much prefer evenings and afternoons when I am better able to bask in the day's accomplishments and rest.