A New President

The He-Man-Women-Haters Club of Myarea has appointed a new president. After our previous president, TBQelite, cruelly betrayed us by associating with females, we found it necessary to expel him from the club and appoint a new leader.

It took us a great deal of time to recover from our shock and horror. We had no indication of our turncoat leaders treachery beforehand and so were unable to prepare a replacement.

Our new President will be The Shadow Walker. While he does not desire the role, the members of our club have selected him. He is uniquely qualified to serve. He has reached the age of 21 without ever becoming entangled and shows great skill in avoiding unnecessary mingling between the genders*.

He recently offered some wise words of encouragement to club members during a recent online forum discussion of this affair which I would like to quote, in slightly edited form, here:

“In any event, for anyone who needs to keep females at bay, follow these guidelines:

-Always have an Aura of Hate/Stink/Shadow/Rage/Logic up. Any of these will work for most girls. But some tend to work better on different classes of female. It is often wise to specialize your aura to properly counteract the wiles of your opponent.

-Limit all interaction with females. Even through interactions that seem innocent, you may inadvertently level up your female relations skill.

-Never, never, never, never, ever give something to a female, no matter what it is, as a gift. Always make them work for it. Even if the charge is minimal it is critical not to appear generous or kind.

-Do not, under any circumstances, add points to your charisma attribute. Projecting excessive charisma attracts the Enemy and interrupts all attempts at stealth.”

Thank you very much President Walker. Congratulations and long may you preside.

Please note: This is all in good humor. I don't actually hate women. Believe it or not, my mother happens to be one.

*Before any of you correct my word usage, I want to say that yes, I know that gender refers to the masculinity or femininity of words and the proper vocabulary to use in this case would be “sex” which refers to the masculinity or femininity of a person. However, in this perverse culture I know that, when I say gender, my reader will think of male or female. If I say sex I open up all manner of roads down which I do not wish to travel. I've made enough embarrassing mistakes to conclude that misusing vocabulary is a lesser humiliation than implying things I do not intend.